Understanding the needs of male sexual assault victims

Historically, those of us who are male survivors of sexual victimization are often an unrecognized, underserved and unmentioned population when the issue of sexual assault is discussed. Many of us do not even recognize or understand that we may have been victimized. Yet one in five males will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, many of us before the age of 16.

The harmful impact of the sexual victimization of males is felt daily by all of us — in our families, communities and workplaces. It is often the unspoken, unrecognized and untreated issue when we are dealing with the problems of addiction, mental health, physical health, relationship issues, domestic violence, anger management, criminal behavior and many other issues that impact boys and men. Yet many male survivors do not know there are resources available to help them recover, nor do they feel safe talking about the impact sexual victimization has had on them.

I believe we all need to work harder to create a safe climate and culture for male sexual assault survivors. It is time for us to look at sexual assault and victimization as a gender-neutral issue. All survivors of sexual victimization are in need of quality services to assist them in their recovery regardless of their gender or age.

We have done a good job promoting awareness of the issue of sexual victimization of females for many years. Yet we still have great strides to go in promoting the same awareness, understanding and availability of resources to men and boys. We need to take what we have learned from those efforts, expand it and apply it to our male population as well.

Even with the publicity in recent years regarding the sexual abuse of males by clergy, coaches and other trusted adults, it has not translated into an increased demand for more knowledge or understanding of the needs of the male survivor population. Sexual victimization is not an easy topic for most of us to discuss. We need to push ourselves even further to extend that conversation to include males.

There are many complex factors that negatively prevent men and boys from coming forward to disclose what happened or to request assistance in their recovery. As men, we are raised to think of ourselves as strong and able to protect others and ourselves. Men who demonstrate vulnerability are often viewed as being less than a real man. In reality, any male may be sexually assaulted regardless of his size, strength, appearance, age or sexual orientation. We often go to extremes to build defenses and a personality, so no one questions that we were ever victimized.

Many males do not recognize the fact that they experienced sexual victimization. Many men are subjected to various acts of hazing, which involve inappropriate sexual contact as becoming part of athletic teams, fraternities, the military and other organizations. This often leaves one with feelings of victimization but is not seen as such. Speaking out about these situations can leave men feeling they are betraying the whole group.

Many males also have same-sex perpetrators and are afraid if that detail becomes known, they might be seen as gay or will experience consequences in their careers, families and standing within their community. The majority of perpetrators who victimize other males identify themselves as heterosexual.

We must remember that sexual victimization is about power and control — not sexual satisfaction. There are also female perpetrators, and often the impact is downplayed as a rite of passage or somehow not as damaging as a male perpetrator. These, and many other factors, contribute to a conspiracy of silence surrounding male sexual victimization.

For the last 15 years, I have had the wonderful opportunity to co-facilitate support groups for adult male sexual assault survivors at sexual assault support centers in Lewiston and Brunswick. I have worked with a female co-facilitator as a way of creating a feeling of safety, as many of those men had same-sex perpetrators. I have truly been blessed to witness the strength, resiliency and hope that those men share as they venture on their journey of recovery. I am also saddened by the stories of lives spent dealing with the physical, emotional and spiritual pain resulting from sexual victimization, thinking there was no place safe to turn for help.

The present systems provided by sexual assault services in Maine are ready and available to provide support and assistance to male survivors.

Failed marriages or relationships, suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse, lost childhoods, feelings of isolation, shame and guilt are only part of the legacy of sexual assault survivors. Stories of hope, opportunities for growth, personal healing and the joy of recovery are also part of the unique gifts that these sexual assault survivors have given to me, greatly contributing to my own recovery.

Sexual victimization is a difficult and uncomfortable issue for us to deal with as individuals, families and a community. It is an issue that impacts us all in one way or another. It is incumbent upon us to continue to work to make our communities safer and more welcoming for all sexual assault survivors regardless of gender or age.

Let the road to recovery from sexual victimization be one that we take not only as individuals but one we take as communities and a society. I invite you to join me on that journey of recovery.

Bill Lowenstein is the president of the board of directors of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Services serving Androscoggin, Oxford and Franklin Counties. He may be reached at lowensteinw@gmail.com.

Creating Awareness about Male Child Sexual Abuse through Film

"Men want to tell their stories, they just need the space to tell them", says Antonio in Big Voice Pictures' documentary, Boys and Men Healing from childhood sexual abuse.   The sexual abuse of boys is an epidemic, and the impact of the trauma of sexual abuse on an individual and society is devastating.  As advocacy filmmakers, we saw a need to bring to light the impact of sexual male child sexual abuse, and yet to offer hope for the survivors.  Film is a powerful tool to expose what hides in darkness. It is also an inspirational tool for hope and social change.  We wanted to break down the barriers of masculinity stereotypes and bust myths about male survivors of child sexual abuse, and do  so we needed to bring our film to a wide audience, to create a space for dialog, education and discussion, to allow a space where men could share.

We do this through national community outreach campaigns and working collaboratively with organizations, such as MaleSurvivor and 1in6, inc. and universities including Penn State and many others.  We also work with many organizations and crisis centers in communities throughout the world. And it works.  Community collaboration makes a difference.  We hold a space for men.  We have had men from all walks of life come to our screenings and stand up for the first time to say, "This happened to me".  Tall men, short men, soldiers, corporate leaders, prosecutors, policemen, fathers, husbands.  Many of these men are now going on to help others after finding the much needed support and healing.  We guide them to the resources.  When no resources are available in communities, we encourage organizations to offer these much needed resources.

Speaking out can begin the healing process.  But men need a space to feel safe to speak out, and they need support after they speak out where they can begin healing.   When communities come together to offer space, to offer resources, to listen, to love, to care, we create a safe space, and then we create change one step at a time.  

With Sexual Abuse Month coming up in April we have screenings across the Globe due to the collaborative work we are doing with organizations and communities. Working together toward social change.-- Kathy Barbini, Producer

By partnering with 1in6, Inc. we now have the film with Spanish subtitles and will be screening the film with a panel discussion at the 2013 Nuestras Voces Conference upcoming conference.  We are now bringing the film to the Spanish speaking community.

Peter Pollard of 1in6 writes:

Over the past 40 years, awareness about the prevalence and impact of the sexual abuse of children has undergone a dramatic shift. What was once thought to be a rare occurrence is now known to affect 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys. Sexual violence prevention and treatment programs, rape crisis centers, medical and criminal justice responses now offer a range of services for women and children who have experienced sexual abuse.

One third of all children who are sexually abused are boys. Over time, these boys experience many of the same feelings of betrayal, shame and confusion as girls who are abused in childhood. Then, as they grow up, they’re faced with socialized expectations about manhood that tells them they are lesser men if they’ve  “allowed” themselves to be victimized, or if they were not in control of any sexual encounter, or were involved in a sexual interaction with another man. Bowing to that socialization, men often cover over the feelings of fear, or sadness or powerlessness that can accompany an abuse experience, assuming that real men simply don’t have those feelings.

Without access to those emotional remedies, many men instead adopt unhealthy behaviors and attitudes that are culturally more acceptable for men – things like addictions to work, extreme athletic activities, eating, substances, sex or pornography; or they may engage in dangerous or violent behavior that distances them from those emotions.   

A public screening of “Boys and Men Healing,” is a perfect way to start a conversation about healing and recovery for men in your community who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. This emotionally powerful, inspiring and hopeful film intimately portrays three men’s dynamic recoveries from traumatic childhood sexual experiences. The in-depth resources available through the 1in6 website (www.1in6.org or http://1in6.org/espanol/ provide a roadmap for helping men reclaim a healthier and happier life.  

 2013 Nuestras Voces Conference.

April 1-2, 2013
Des Moines, Iowa

 Proyección y discusión de la película "Boys and Men Healing"

1in6 and Big Voice Pictures are proud to be a part of  the 2013 Nuestras Voces Conference. 

MANDATORY REPORTING OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE: THE NEED FOR UNIFORMITY

In response to the public hue and cry following the disclosure of the unconscionable crimes against children and cover-up that occurred at Penn State, many state legislatures have considered reforms that would strenghen and expand their laws mandating the reporting of suspected child sex abuse (“CSA”).  While this is a positive step in the fight against CSA, the result of these efforts leaves in place a patchwork of state laws that vary widely in their efficacy.  No two states have identical laws and there is no overarching federal CSA reporting statute yet on the books.  Thus, the need for uniformity of the law in this area is clear and present.  But perhaps change is coming.  Some recent developments in the law – in particular, Florida’s enactment of the toughest CSA reporting requirements in the country -- provide reason to hope that the federal and state governments will agree ultimately on a model reporting law to be applied in all jurisdictions.

As we approach the end of 2012, a glimpse of the current state of the law informs the path ahead.  Every state has a CSA reporting statute that defines the conduct that constitutes such abuse in that particular state and that identifies those persons who are mandated to report it.  All states require reporting by certain categories of individuals, typically those who have regular contact with children, e.g., teachers and other school personnel; physicians, nurses, and other medical/ mental health professionals; social workers; and child care providers.  Thirty-two states require only such designated persons to report, while 18 states mandate that all adults report suspected CSA to the proper authorities

The level of knowledge, or suspicion, of abuse that triggers these mandatory reporting requirements varies.  Some states require reporting when the reporter “suspects or has reasons to believe” that a child has been abused.  But other states mandate reporting only when the reporter “has knowledge of, or observes, a child being subjected to conditions that would reasonably result in harm to the child.”  Because there is a wide variance between these standards, what constitutes a reporting requirement in one jurisdiction may not be considered mandatorily reportable in another.  State laws also vary as to the required recipients of CSA reports.  In some jurisdictions, reports must be made to workplace supervisors only.  The Penn State cases tragically demonstrate the systemic flaws in such in-house only reporting requirements. 

Some states have exceptions to mandatory reporting requirements for “privileged communications” between physicians-patients, attorneys-clients, and clergy-penitents, while other jurisdictions do not permit such privileges to constitute grounds for failing to report.  In most states, reports may be made anonymously but some 18 states require mandatory reporters to provide their names and contact information.  All states have laws that maintain the confidentiality of the reporter’s identity but disclosure of the reporter’s identity is allowed in some jurisdictions under specific circumstances or to specific authorities.  

In most states, the failure by a mandated reporter to report CSA is a criminal offense, albeit a relatively minor one classified as a misdemeanor.  However, a handful of states upgrade such misdemeanors to felonies for failing to report comparatively serious abuse situations or if the violation is a second or subsequent reporting offense.  The Louisiana legislature recently passed a law making it a felony to witness the sexual abuse of a child and fail to report it to law enforcement.  In contrast, a few states impose fines only for reporting violations.  Only one state – Florida – makes any mandated reporting failure a serious felony, punishable by up to 15 years in prison and a $1 million fine if the violator is a college or university.  

Undoubtedly feeling the impact of the Penn State criminality, state lawmakers have proposed numerous changes to their CSA reporting laws.  During 2012 alone, over 100 separate bills in 30 states were introduced in state legislatures addressing the mandatory reporting of CSA.  The bills include those that add to the list of mandatory reporters higher education staff, administrators, and coaches (31 bills); require any person, rather than designated reporters, to report suspected abuse (10 bills); increase the penalties for failures to report (29 bills); require reporting directly to law enforcement (15 bills); mandate training/education in CSA prevention (14 bills); and provide reporters with workplace immunity (5 bills). 

Moreover, some 13 states enacted new CSA reporting legislation this year.  California, Georgia, Illinois, Louisiana, South Dakota, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, and West Virginia substantially expanded the categories of mandatory reporters to include, inter alia, higher education personnel, headmasters of independent schools, athletic coaches, commercial film processors, commercial computer technicians, nurses’ aides, child advocacy organizations, child welfare providers, and youth camp employees.  The Delaware legislature simplified the mandatory reporting requirements for schools by mandating that any sexual offense involving a child be reported directly to law enforcement, while Iowa and Wisconsin now prohibit employers from taking retaliatory actions against any persons who make good faith reports of suspected abuse.   

The recent actions by state legislatures address various aspects of the mandatory reporting issue but what is needed is an overarching law that encompasses all of the essential elements of reporting requirements and can be applied uniformly throughout the nation.  Fortunately, there is one state law that can serve as a model for all other states to emulate.  Effective October 1, 2012, Florida enacted the most comprehensive and toughest CSA reporting law in the country.  The measure, dubbed “the Penn State law,” mandates that every person who knows or reasonably suspects a child is the victim of sexual abuse must immediately report that information to a state hotline.  The hotline’s operators will be trained to obtain the relevant information and will immediately electronically transfer the reports to the appropriate law enforcement agency.  The identities of the reporters are kept confidential and reporters are immune from any civil or criminal liability provided the report is made in good faith.

These provisions are necessary but not sufficient to ensure that the mandatory reporting requirements are effective.  So Florida’s new law imposes stiff penalties on those who violate it – the failure to report suspected abuse constitutes a felony that carries a maximum prison sentence of 15 years and fines up to $5000.  And if the violator is a college or university, the fines can be increased to $1 million for each incident.  Thus, the sweeping provisions of the law combine mandatory reporting for all adults, confidential reporting, immunity for good faith reporting, and strong failure-to-report penalties.

So children in Florida are likely to be better protected but will other states follow suit?  This is where Congress can play a decisive role.  Under current federal law, there is mandatory reporting only of all “recent” cases of CSA by a parent or caretaker.  Such cases must be reported to authorities in accordance with each state’s laws defining mandatory reporters.  As discussed above, state laws vary dramatically as to categories of mandatory reporters and standards that trigger reporting requirements.  In essence, federal law establishes a floor requirement as what must be reported under state law.  

However, presently pending before Congress is a bill entitled, the “Speak Up To Protect Every Abused Kid Act,” which would expand the definition of child abuse to include acts by any individual and would require all adults to report suspected CSA.  Congress should enact this provision and thereby require each state to certify that it has in place such universal mandatory reporting requirements.  Furthermore, Congress has the power to provide financial incentives to the states to do the job right by adopting all of the necessary components of the recent Florida legislation.

On its face, the question of mandatory reporting of CSA is a legal one.  But fundamentally, it is a moral issue.  In recent times, it has become painfully apparent that too many people – including those in positions of authority – tend to turn a blind eye to suspected or even known abuse and often are afraid for one reason or another of the repercussions on themselves and/or their institutions of reporting it.  Mandatory reporting by all adults helps protect our children and serves as a deterrent to those who would prey upon them.  Reporting requirements shine a much-needed light on crimes against children that have far too long remained in the darkness.  Laws mandating reporting will help flush out child predators and those who aid and abet them by covering up their despicable acts.  But ultimately the responsibility to protect children falls on each one of us.  Let no child be harmed on our watch.  

Neil Jaffee, Legal Counsel, Vertigo Charitable Foundation, LLC 

Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Seeking Justice

Jerry Sandusky can no longer sexually abuse children, and the courageous adult survivors who spoke the harrowing  truth in court about his sexual criminal acts against them when they were children, have found justice--at least in the criminal system.  Like most adult survivors, only the arduous task ahead of healing, will truly set them free to reclaim their lives from the battle they have been fighting all their lives.  And it can be done, but that work can never be underestimated.

However, let us not get too far ahead.  Let's give them the acknowledegement that's due for their extraordinary courage and the arduous efforts they gave during their time in court process.  It could never have been easy for them. Dredging up the painful, disgusting memories of Sandusky raping, molesting, manipulating, and terrorizing them, and bringing these memories and realities public while facing such defense strategies that tried to make them into liars, is the work of warriors in battle against not only the defense, but a society that still questions, Are they making this up?  Or 'Just get over it, it happened so long ago'.  Many families still won't believe the adult survivor when 10, 20, 30 years later they finally are able to reveal the abuse they had been so traumatized to admit.  Oh, your memories must be confused.  Oh, it's that False Memory Syndrome, have you heard about it? Oh honey, He would never do that. He's such an upstanding man in our community.  Moreover, denial of those who don't believe them is one of the biggest enemies for adult survivors of child sexual abuse to face--millions of Dotty Sanduskys out there -- spouses, partners, parents, brothers, sisters and friends, some who are jury members, judges, police officers, politicians-- in utter denial.    And in the justice process, let's not forget the heavy burden of truth survivors must face in the criminal justice system.

All these issues all play out in court, and often, even when their cases are successful, the survivor is victimized again.  Is the jury member one of those who just couldn't believe this could have happened by an upstanding man in the community?   How will they handle the darts and knives of the defense blaming them, making them into liars, assassinating their character-- when the little traumatized child that still lives in their memories and bodies is quivering in a corner like they did after they were raped.  What about those survivors having to see their abuser in court, some for the first time since they were children.  Or having to face the unsupportive family or community members -- the grandparents, aunts, and uncles, partners and friends of the perpetrator -- who are all gathered on his side of the court room.

The justice system is often not a safe place for adult survivors of child sexual abuse.  Many survivors seeking justice also first report to police departments and lawyers not trained to understand or investigate cases that happened so many years ago, or who don't understand the nature of trauma, and how to support the emotional and psychological needs of survivors who are treading on minefields of horrific memories, having to relive the sensations and recollections of their small bodies being ripped open and violated--while still dealing with the daily pain of their broken lives and souls.  Some can never seek justice because of Statue of Limitations, and live with the fact that their abusers are still out there in our communities raping and molesting other children.

Is this justice?

As a community it is our responsibility to not let the clang of the jail cell closing on Sandusky be the end of supporting adult survivors of child sexual abuse seeking justice--and we hope many more will be coming forward.  Documentary film has become a powerful advocacy tool to continue raising awareness on important social issues, and the pursuit of truth for survivors in the justice system is one of the most important issues facing us today.   Vertigo Charitable Foundation is producing a new documentary and advocacy film "Pursuit of Truth: Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Seeking Justice" to help survivors navigate the complexities of the court system and process, while guiding professionals in the field to consider needed reform, best practices, and ways we can better support adult survivors courageously pursuing the challenging task of seeking justice.  Through outreach and education, Pursuit of Truth will be an key tool for raising awareness and transforming the justice system one case — one precious individual — at a time.  Vertigo hired Kathy Barbini of Big Voice Pictures, producer of Boys and Men Healing and The Healing Years, to produce the film due to her exemplary films and outreach and advocacy work related to the issue of child sexual abuse.

The overall mission of the Vertigo Charitable Foundation is to work to reform from the bottom up the justice system's response to adult survivors of child sexual abuse who seek legal redress against their abusers.  The Foundation will develop strategies to directly impact the legal system, including establishing a pool of qualified attorneys, therapists, and other experts willing to assist survivors on a pro bono or reduced fee basis; lobbying legislatures to change antiquated and unfair laws; training law enforcement personnel, judges, and lawyers; and filing amicus (“friend of the court”) briefs in cases addressing relevant legal issues.

Adult retrospective studies indicate there are currently more than 42 million adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the U.S.  While statistics vary widely because the crime is grossly underreported, it is estimated that there could be anywhere from 260,000-650,000 new CSA cases in this country annually.

Each of us has a role and a responsibility to reverse these shameful statistics for the protection of our children and the moral integrity of our society.  We can be — we must be — the solution. 

To learn more about Pursuit of Truth: Adult Survivors Seeking Justice and the work of The Vertigo Charitable Foundation visit www.pursuitoftruthfilm.com

On Being a Survivor-Advocate

It would like to be able to forget what happened to me as a young child, but I gave up on any hope of that years ago.  Like everyone, I have forgotten a lot of people and events from my childhood, but no matter how hard I tried to forget, I woke up each day for over a quarter of a century with the same memory of being bound and brutally raped before I was even old enough to know what that word meant.  It mattered not each year what I achieved, what goodness entered my life, the number of tears I cried, or the number of times my body quaked through the aftershocks of abject fear.  So I have learned that the memory is here to stay.

But no matter that the memory will not fade, the choice to advocate for other survivors each day is a choice that comes with consequences that I know, but I suppose I have accepted.

Each day, I will be reminded of not just the fact that I was raped, but what it was really like to be raped.

Each day, I will face my own pain in the eyes of others and hear it in their voices as they share their stories.  And I will see it in their bodies, as they sit twisting in a chair trying to find a comfortable position that does not exist.

Each day, I will become angry, no furious, at an abuse perpetrator, virtually unable to separate my anger at those who attacked me from those who have abuse my clients or my friends.

And each day, I will find myself frustrated, and disappointed, and even bitter, as yet another lawyer, judge, insurance adjuster,  business owner, neighbor, priest, politician, family member, doctor, police officer, doesn't understand what it is like to have survived such horror and what is needed to heal.

And more, each day I will find myself deeply sad, with a  pit of loneliness in my stomach, as yet another human being can't find the empathy my client needs, that I need, and looks away in the face of our horror, unwilling to look at the blood dripping from our wounds.

But I stay on this path and accept the consequences for the moments that give my suffering meaning.  For the moment we make a perpetrator answer for their crime.  For the moment we make someone answer for giving a perpetrator safe harbor or doing less than they should to protect a vulnerable child because of money.  For the moment I can deliver my client into life-sustaining and renewing medical care. 

And I stay on this path if for no other reason so my fellow survivor does not walk alone today.

And I stay on this path with but one hope: that my efforts will spare at least one child this walk.

Michael Dolce, Esq.
West Palm Beach, Florida

www.dolcelaw.net